The 5 breeds of Jeep Wrangler owners 

Breed #1: The overlander

The overlander, a species recently developed with the popularization of a “rooftop tent”. This Jeep owner will typically be found sporting a 2007-2021 Jeep Wrangler sport and a $481.00 car payment. 

The breed can quickly be identified by: 

  • Roof top tent 
  • Rough Country 8000# winch 
  • Angry eyes grill 
  • Rear tire carrier with gas can attachments 
  • AMP power steps 
  • Fuel wheels 
  • All terrain tires 
  • 3 inch body lift 
  • Snorkel
  • Power awning 
  • Propane grille 
  • 3-6 “overland” stickers 
  • No lockers 

They may be on the way to work Monday morning. But they want you to know they maybe, probably didn’t, go off-road camping yesterday.  We’ll just never know.. and we don’t care. 

Breed #2: The go topless teenager  

The beloved go topless teenager. Some say this species is a descendant of “chad”.  They take much of their influence from the show ‘Blue Mountain State’ and a father figure could have completely avoided Go Topless Jeep weekend in Galveston, TX. 

The breed can quickly be identified by: 

  • At least 1 “Go Topless” stickers 
  • Rough country lift kits 
  • Winch bumpers without winches 
  • 35” tires in stock wheels 
  • No mufflers 
  • Subwoofers and stock speakers 

It is advised to keep distance between yourself and a go topless teenager, or you may be late to work tomorrow. 

Breed #3:  The rock crawler 

ThE RoCkCrAwLeR:  Much to the surprise of scientists, it has recently been confirmed Crayons are the primary food source for rock crawlers. When not at organized events risking it all in their cobbled-together roll cages. They can be found on flaming the new guy. 

The war between overlanders and rock crawlers is still being fought to this day, but it is still apparent neither species is capable of fitting into society. 

How to identify a rock crawler dude: 

Ehh.. you probably won’t see one in the wild. They are all in their garage “being built”. 

Breed #4: The cool mom 

Oh, the jeep mom. Jeep Wrangler’s very own master race created by evolution.  

Man likes Jeep 

Man spends money on Jeep 

Man spends time with Jeep 

Woman has no man 

Woman likes money 

Woman lonely 

Woman buys Jeep 

Man reproduces with Jeep woman 

Something like that. Nonetheless, us men are not complaining. Thank you 

Breed #5: The old man 

The old man, a minority within the jeep community. Typically they just want to recreate their teenage years when they owned a Jeep CJ in high school.  Beloved by all but also annoyed by all.  

For a decade now scientists have been trying to teach an old man in a Jeep how to wave. Studies show, it may be impossible for them to tell apart a Jeep from a Honda Civic. 

How to identify an old man in a jeep: 

  • Completely stock CJ, YJ, TJ, or JK 
  • Hard top 
  • Under the speed limit 
  • Confused look when you wave at them 

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